Welcome to The Donkey Drop
This is not a newsletter.
This is a covert delivery.
Once a month, a suspiciously adorable envelope will appear at your door.
Inside: An original, frame-worthy print. Weird poetry. Secret challenges. Goofy games.
You've been recruited.
(No sound. Just vibes.)
What you get (besides extreme delight):
An original art print.
This isn’t a stock photo, a Canva template, or something you’ll scroll past on Instagram. This is a fresh, frame-worthy blast of watercolor weirdness - ripped straight out of my studio and dropped into your mailbox like contraband. One side: pure art, big enough to pin, hoard, or shrine-ify. The other side: whatever secrets leaked out of my brain that month. It might be elegant. It might be ridiculous. It will definitely be yours.
An exclusive poem.
You get a poem no one else can read for six months. Not on TikTok. Not in a book. Just you and the words, before anyone else even knows they exist.
A real-time writing lesson.
This isn't a polished tutorial or prewritten lecture. You're getting an over-the-shoulder pass into the exact moment I write each poem - awkward pauses, dumb rhymes, false starts, breakthroughs, and all. You'll hear me wonder what to write, wrestle with bad lines, try weird formats, and explain every twist as it happens. It's unscripted, unpredictable, and wildly useful. Burritos ask me all the time, "How do you come up with this stuff?" This is how. Each lesson lasts as long as it takes me to finish the poem (usually about an hour), and by the end, you'll understand every choice I made - because you were there for all of them. It's part writing session, part masterclass, part chaos log.
Studio-seat painting demos.
You'll watch the exact moment the paint hits the page. These aren't silent speedpaints - they're full, real-time recordings of each illustration as it's born. You'll see what goes down first. What gets covered. What gets redone three times because I hated it. You'll learn how watercolor decisions get made on the fly - without a script, without a plan, and sometimes without a clue.
Performance video readings.
Once the poem is born and the paint is dry, I'll read the poems aloud as the final artwork blooms behind the words. It's poetry with just the right amount of dramatic flair.
Bonus weirdness, always.
Failed sketches. Doodle margins. Handwritten secrets. QR-coded missions. A secret, hidden something. Probably stickers. Definitely mischief. Each issue has its own personality—and it's never boring.
Why this is more than a zine
This isn't content.
This is a pocket-sized portal into a parallel world I built by hand, just for you.
You're not paying for a PDF.
You're paying for the joy of cracking open an envelope and discovering that someone out there made something just to delight you. You're paying to be surprised. To be let in. To be reminded that magic doesn't have to be big to be real.
The poems, videos, art, jokes, puzzles, games, challenges, and secret missions - all folded into a little book of cuteness and Donkey Dropped at your door.
Get Your Donkey Drops
Who it's for:
- Lovers of weird little things
- Grownups who still believe in mail
- Kids (or inner children) who think fart jokes are adjacent to fine art
- Teachers, creatives, introverts, and sticker hoarders
- People who like poetry but also chaos
- Anyone who's ever wanted to join the club
Why it exists:
- Because I'd rather flood your mailbox with joy than dance for the algorithm.
- Because the world needs more absurdity by mail.
- Because tiny things can be powerful.
- Because you deserve an envelope of magic.
- Because YOU are the exact kind of glorious oddball this was made for.
Every Month You'll Get:
- 🖋A brand-new, unreleased poem
- 🎥A behind-the-scenes writing lessons (the good, the bad, and the rhymes)
- 🎨A painting demo that reveals every brush stroke of each illustration
- 🎭An over-the-top performance reading
- 🎁Bonus surprises: stickers, secret codes, oddities
Frequently Asked Weirdness
It's not just for kids. It's for weirdos.
There's no swearing, no adult content, and zero risk of stumbling into something that makes you have "the talk."
If your kid likes clever poems, secret missions, and pickle-based danger? They're gonna love it.
If you like art, absurdity, and feeling like a mailbox pirate who just intercepted forbidden treasure? Also yes.
It's safe for kids, but not designed for kids. It's made for people who like weird things done well.
Yes, BUT!
I'm not going to use it to send you coupon flyers, political opinions, or cursed objects. Just the zine. That's it.
Oh, absolutely.
If you know someone who would lose their mind over a secret envelope of illustrated poetry, strange assignments, and art chaos—send it their way.
If you have a crazy, rhyming name - then maybe. But I would never use your full name without your permission.
But if you tag me in something brilliant, say something weird in an email, or generally exist as a walking inspiration machine—I reserve the right to turn it into a line.
Every issue has a different flavor, and sometimes that flavor is "chaotic tribute."
Each month's issue is a limited drop.
When it's gone, it's gone. If you want this month's poems, sign up before time runs out.
I'll ship your zines to you on the 15th of every month. And since I have to fold each one with love, you have to sign up before the 10th to ensure you get that month's Drop.
Because this isn't a PDF.
It's a spell.
And spells don't hit the same when they come as an email attachment.
The Donkey Drop is meant to be held, opened, lovingly dog-eared, and stashed in a shoebox for later.
If I could hand it to you via a ceremony and a live orchestra, I would.
But for now, the mailbox will do.
Yep. No weird contracts. No passive-aggressive guilt. Just hit cancel whenever you're ready.
But fair warning: people tend to stay. Mailbox magic is addictive.
The Drop is happening.
This month's poem is already in the works.
Sign up now to reserve your issue before it vanishes into the ether.
Your mailbox will never recover.